Terry Carlin Tribute

November 21, 2015

By Larry Carlin

Dear family, friends, and neighbors: We're gathered here today to say goodbye to a gentle and caring man, my brother, Terry Carlin. He has left us much too young, at the age of 64, and it’s with great sadness that we realize that he is now gone from us forever.

He led a rather simple life, as he never strayed too far or lived more than 20 miles away from where he was born, in August of 1951, just outside of Philadelphia. He was the second oldest of the five Carlin siblings and just two-and-a-half years older than me – and we were close to the same size – so I inherited many clothes from time to time. As I speak, I am wearing one of his belts and a tie as a tribute to the things we shared over the years.

Somewhere along the way during our youth he ended up with the nickname of “Hobbs.” According to family lore, this name came from one of his neighborhood friends, and many of you here today knew him by this title. While he never introduced himself or signed anything as “Hobbs,” he never seemed to mind being called this.

When he was a teen, he started working at the A&P and then moved on to the Acme in King of Prussia, where he worked for about 10 years. In 1974 he graduated from Villanova University and spent his career as an accountant. He was always good with numbers, and he worked for a few different companies over the decades while also becoming the president of his local AA chapter and of the homeowner’s association where he lived in Paoli. But most importantly, he did my taxes for me for about 20 years. And, he always refused my payment for his services. One year, however, he did let me purchase for him, online, the Brenda Lee Anthology CD set.

Speaking of music, while Terry never played any instruments, he was a big music fan, and he amassed quite a collection of albums, cassettes and CDs. I don’t think I ever told him such, but he inadvertently affected my musical career in a profound way. In 1973 he purchased his one – and for all I know only – bluegrass album, and it was a three-disc set called Will the Circle Be Unbroken. At that time, I was playing rock and roll, but for reasons unknown, I fell in love with that recording, and my musical direction changed as a result of hearing it. Heaven only knows how different my life would have been if Terry had never bought the Circle records. For this, I am forever grateful.

He loved the game of baseball. When my younger Marty and I were in our teens, Terry organized softball games that took place on the three summer holidays at the ball field in Bob White Farm, and these games became affectionately known as the “Hobbs’ Annuals.” We had some great times playing those games, and they continued until we were in our 30s. There was even some talk of trying to pull together a Hobbs Memorial Game for this coming Thanksgiving Day, but the weather, and our ages, may not be very agreeable for doing such.

A trait that our father passed on to Terry was that he was a huge fan of the Phillies. He watched, or at least listened to, most of their games over the past decade. When the team won the World Series in 2008, the first call I made within seconds of the final out was to him. It was a great moment to share together. In later years he enjoyed going to watch his nephews and nieces playing on their various sports teams, and he was a big fan of the Villanova basketball team.

As for the Carlin family, while he never had children of his own, he was godfather to nieces Rachael Bullock and Meghan Carlin. He never forgot their birthdays, nor did he forget Christmas for these girls. He was everyone’s favorite uncle, and he adored all of the kids.

He also loved going down to the shore. For the last 20+ years, he never missed going down there for at least one day. This past July, when I was back visiting from California, even though he seldom left Paoli and was not feeling that well due to the cancer treatments, we took a one-day road trip down to Ocean City, Maryland, to visit our niece Katelynn, who was working for the police department for the season. Her mother Donna and her sister Rachael were also there visiting. I am not much of a shore person, and I had not been down to the beach since 1987. But when the invitation came to make a trip for the day, I did not hesitate. It was a long, 280-mile roundtrip, but I will forever cherish being able to spend such quality time with him which, in hindsight, turned out to be our last outing together.

As for his favorite snacks, anyone that was close to him knows how much he loved Wawa coffee, donuts, Stewart’s root beer, and Milk Duds.

But the thing that my siblings and I are most grateful for was how he took care of our late mother for so many years. He moved back in with her in the early ‘90s, and without him being there, Mom would have had to move into an assisted living facility years before she passed. He drove her to church, shopping, doctor appointments, and everywhere else. After she had a stroke in December of 2010, Terry went to visit her every single day until she died in March of 2012. He was truly devoted to our mother, as well as to her dog Mitzi, who also became the canine love of his life. Mitzi, eerily so, sadly went on to Doggie Heaven about a year ago after coming down with a cancerous tumor.

However, on July 3rd of 2014, without any warning, Terry suffered a seizure, and a week later he had the first of three surgeries to remove cancerous tumors from his brain. He also went through a round of radiation as well as multiple rounds of chemo. He fought the long, hard fight, until his body could not take it anymore.

Oldest brother Jim reminded me this morning that our dad’s favorite charity back in the day was Boys Town, Nebraska. Their logo featured two young boys, with one being carried on the back of the other. And the slogan for Boys Town – which was similar to the title of a hit song by The Hollies – was “He ain’t heavy, Father…he’s m’brother.” No truer words have ever been said.

On behalf of my siblings and his many nieces and nephews, I want to thank everyone for their outpouring of love and support for my brother Terry. While his loss is very painful to all of us right now, his memory, spirit, and the good times we all had together, will be with us forever.