Margaret Mary Carlin, Gentle Woman

March 30, 2012

Welcome family and friends. The last time that I stood on this altar was 24 years ago this August, when my father, James T. Carlin Sr., passed away at the much too young age of 66, just four days shy of his 67th birthday. It is so hard to say goodbye to a parent, and I certainly was not looking forward to the time when I would have to return here. Yet today we are gathered together to say goodbye to one giant and gentle woman, my mother, Margaret M. Carlin.

Of course, everyone knew her as Peg. She was born in West Philadelphia in September of 1923, the only child of Leo and Margaret Cooney, and she was a child of the Great Depression, making her a member of “The Greatest Generation.” Throughout her life she lived in only five houses, never more than 20 miles from where it all began. She may not have strayed very far from home, but this little woman with no brothers or sisters left a legacy in this world that will continue for generations to come. 

After graduating from West Catholic High for Girls in 194l her cousin Mary Mahoney invited Peg to a christening where she met the 20-year-old Jim Carlin, and they soon began dating. Jim attended West Catholic High for Boys, was two years older than Peg, and he came from a family of seven sisters. Peg found her first and only salaried job working as a secretary at Penn Mutual, located at 5th and Chestnut Streets. Before long, she and the young, handsome redhead began talking about getting married. But then, World War Two intervened, and Jim joined the US Army. He spent the next three years in Europe while Peg continued to work at Penn Mutual, faithfully waiting for her soldier to return from the war. On June 1st, 1946, her life changed forever when she and Jim were married, and she never worked another salaried job again. She soon had other things to fill up her time…

Nine months later she began the full-time job of mother, which would become her lifelong passion, when her first child, Jim Jr., was born on March 1st, 1947. In January of 1950 her first daughter, Mary Ellen, was born, but sadly, she survived for only a few hours. Mom went on to have three more boys that came along every couple of years. And finally, in 1962, her darling daughter Donna arrived when the oldest son was 15. Boy, did Mom ever have her work cut out for her! Four boys in the span of eight years and a baby girl when she was 39 years old! 

I know at least four other people in this church today who will vouch for me when I say, without hesitation, that Peg Carlin was the finest mother that we could have ever asked for. How she did it all, I’ll never know. She prepared breakfast for us every morning before sending us off to school with hand-made lunches, and dinner was served up seven nights a week. She cleaned her own house, shopped for food for seven people, washed and ironed clothes, and was quite handy on the sewing machine too. She always had (and needed) a station wagon, such as the ’55 Mercury Monterey and the ‘62 Ford Galaxie. This was way before there were SUVs and mini-vans, and she drove us everywhere. But she was so tiny that she had to have a seat cushion so she could see over the steering wheel. There were baseball practices and games, Cub and Boy Scout meetings, music lessons, endless dental appointments (four of us needed braces), church choir, and finally, the Philadelphia Bulletin newspapers to deliver. All four of us boys had a paper route that was handed down from brother to brother. With 75-80 subscribers, the last two boys figured out that the fastest and easiest way to get the job done was for us to toss the papers from the tailgate of the station wagon while Mom drove. Of course, we shared none of our hard-earned profits with the person who made our job so easy.

As if tending to a family of seven wasn’t enough of a struggle, Mom also had her parents move into the family house when her mother became blind and her father could no longer care for his wife. Leo Cooney passed away before long, and then when Mom’s mother needed more care she went to live in a nursing home. And Mom went to visit her mother there every single day for quite a few years until she passed away.

And did I mention baseball? Our father, who is in Heaven, was a huge Phillies fan, and besides playing little league ball, all of us kids loved going to the Phillies’ games with Dad at Connie Mack Stadium. He always seemed to have tickets for us when his customers couldn’t go to the games with him. Mom never cared for or understood the game, which was just fine for us, because this meant that we kids got to go more often.

In her later years Mom really got into crafts with her sewing, crocheting and quilting. She had her own sewing room at the Foxwood house, where there are three machines now sitting silent and covered, never to be used again by her. Among her creations were shirts, vests, Donna’s wedding dress, and she is now wearing a suit that she made to wear to granddaughter Meghan’s wedding in 2006. She also assisted her daughter-in-law JoAnn Fitzgerald Carlin in the making of Bishop Fitzgerald’s vestments for the celebration of his first Mass in 1980. She became an accomplished quilter, and she really took to making Baltimore Album quilts. She even won an award one year at the Fort Washington Quilting Expo in the ‘90s. And she crocheted countless projects. My guess is that about half of the people here today either have a prayer shawl or a quilt the she made with her two small hands. I know that I will always cherish the two Afghans that she made and the quilt that I proudly own, along with every stitch of clothing that has the label inside that reads “Hand-made by Peg Carlin.”

Mom also played a little bit of music on her Stella mandolin, which still sits in the closet of her bedroom just across the street from here. Some of you know that I have been playing music for 45 years now, and Mom often liked to say that, “You got your musical talent from me!” And you know what? I never disagreed with her about this. And the talent has been passed down to the next generation, as grandson Sean Carlin is an amazing guitarist as well.

One of my favorite stories about Mom took place in 1985 in the TV section of a department store. Some folks that I had been playing music with made a video of their song “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” and as Mom was walking through the store she happened to look up and see me on 30 TV screens at once. She suddenly began yelling, “That’s my Larry, that’s my Larry!” to the puzzlement of the other shoppers that were walking by. There are countless other stories to tell about Peg Carlin, and I have no doubt that many of them will be told later on this afternoon.

For such a tiny woman – at her best she maybe weighed 110 and stood at 5 feet 1 inches – Mom was a kind woman a big heart. She rarely raised her voice and probably never said “no” when asked to baby-sit one of her eight grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. When the grandkids would act up she would threaten them by saying, “If you don’t behave, I am going to cut you out of my will!” This would usually get them to quiet down. Then, the next time the kids would see her they would meekly ask, “Grandmom, am we back in the will yet?”

Mom was a lifelong church-going, selfless person who never intentionally harmed anyone. All things considered, in the end you could say that she lived a long and fulfilling life, with her only regret being the loss of her husband 24 years ago. Today we are saying goodbye to our loving mother Margaret Mary Carlin, gentle woman, who is now once again reunited with the love of her life up in Heaven. Her memory will live on forever in the hearts and minds of all of us in the extended Carlin family and by everyone else who knew her. We love you, Mom!